Children's tantrums are one of the most daily challenges faced by parents. The child screams, cries, hits, or suddenly throws things, and this often happens at the most embarrassing time. Many parents think that this behavior is stubborn or lack of education, while the truth is much deeper.
In this comprehensive guide, you will understand:
Why do tantrums really happen?
How does it vary according to the child's age?
Common mistakes increase the problem
Practical steps to deal with it calmly
When is it normal and when you need specialized intervention
First: What is the child's tantrum?
A tantrum is an emotional explosion that occurs when a child is unable to express their feelings or meet their needs.
The child does not do this to annoy you, but because he does not yet have the tools to emotional control.
Tantrums include:
Crying a lot
Screaming
Hitting or throwing things
Belonging to the ground
Complete rejection of orders
Second: The real causes of tantrums
1️⃣ Inability to express
The child feels, but he doesn't know how to explain what's inside him.
Anger becomes his only language.
2️⃣ Fatigue or hunger
A tired child = a rapid explosive child.
Most seizures occur before bed or when you're hungry.
3️⃣ Feeling of lack of control
When a child is forced into something without explanation, he feels helpless, and explodes.
4️⃣ Search for attention
Some children learn that screaming is the fastest way to hear their voice.
5️⃣ Adult Imitation
The child learns emotion from the environment.
Screaming generates screams.
Third: Tantrums according to age
🔹 From 1–2 years old
Very normal
Due to the limited development of language
It doesn't mean a behavioral problem
Correct handling:
Calm
Distraction
Constant routine
🔹 From 3–4 years old
The child begins the border test
He wants independence but he doesn't know how
Correct handling:
Limited options (wear this or this)
Simple explanation instead of orders
🔹 From 5-6 years old
Anger is related to frustration
The child understands more but does not control completely
Correct handling:
Teaching the naming of feelings
Set clear rules
🔹 After 7 years
Frequent tantrums are not normal
It may indicate a problem of emotional regulation or psychological stress
Here it is preferable to assess the cause in depth.
Fourth: Common mistakes increase tantrums
❌ Yelling at the child
❌ Beating or threatening
❌ Mocking his feelings
❌ Always back off to silence him
❌ Discussion during the shift
These behaviors do not teach the child to be calm, but rather teach him fear or stubbornness.
Fifth: The correct way to deal with a tantrum (step by step)
✅ Step 1: Keep calm
The child borrows your calmness or anger.
If you get excited, the seizure will escalate.
✅ Step 2: Make sure it's safe
If the child hits or throws:
Keep away dangerous things
Carry it gently if necessary
✅ Step 3: Do not discuss during the shift
The child does not hear logic at the time of anger.
✅ Step 4: Confess feelings
A simple sentence:
"I understand that you are angry because you want to play more."
It doesn't mean agreement, it's understanding.
✅ Step 5: After Calm... Education
After the child calms down:
Discuss what happened
Teach him alternatives to expression
They agreed on a solution for the next time
Sixth: How to reduce tantrums in the future?
A fixed daily routine
Enough sleep
Regular meals
Reduce screens
Special time daily with the child
Praise good behavior immediately
Seventh: When to worry?
Consult a specialist if:
The seizures are very severe
It continues after the age of 7 years
Self-harm includes
Affects school or relationships
Summary of the article
Tantrums are not an educational failure, but an educational stage.
The child does not need punishment, but needs:
They understand
Clear boundaries
A quiet role model
Every time you deal calmly, you are building a psychologically stronger child in the long run.
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